Chapter 16

With as much dignity as she could muster, Valerie went back to Jon’s room. She had to refrain from running up the stairs. She closed the bedroom door behind her and leaned against it for a moment, steadying herself. Grabbing clothes, she headed for the shower.

Down in the kitchen, Richie had stopped Jon before he could go up after Valerie. “So,” he said, “Valerie, huh?”

Something in his tone made Jon looked closely at his friend. “Why don’t you say what’s on your mind, bro?” He could tell that Richie wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure he should.

Richie considered Jon for a moment and just shook his head. “I was gonna ask you if you thought that this one was gonna drive the demons from you, but,” he looked closely at his friend’s eyes, “huh, I see that she already has. What’s her deal? Where’d you meet her?”

Jon told Richie about meeting her on the beach, and at Richie’s winged eyebrow chuckled. “I know, man, but if you could have seen her dancing in the moonlight, you wouldn’t have been able to resist her, either.” He told Richie a little bit about her situation, and Richie whistled when he heard about the circumstances surrounding her widowhood.

“It’s been two years,” Jon finished, “and she’s still having a hard time trusting people, same as me. I don’t know, man, we’re like kindred spirits or something.”

“Yeah, or something,” Richie agreed. “It doesn’t hurt that she’s hot, either.”

Jon just shook his head. “That may have attracted me to her initially, but believe me, I’ve had my share of pretty faces. There’s something real behind hers. Something that speaks to the empty part of me…”

“What?” Richie said when Jon had trailed off.

“That sounds like a good line for a song,” Jon said. “She speaks to the empty part of me…” he sang softly, “…fills my soul with her words.”

Richie rolled his eyes at him. “Man, you’ve got to cut this shit out.”

Jon looked at him, a shocked expression on his face. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Richie poked an angry finger into his friend's chest. "You're looking to her to save you, aren't you." He swore. "Man, look. Make her your lover. Hell, make her your wife if that makes you happy, but do not try to make her your savior. She's just a woman. You can't rely on others to save you; you have to save yourself. Isn't that what you told me?"

Jon nodded and sighed. Richie was right. But he didn't really think he was using Valerie as anything. He genuinely liked her, cared for her. If he searched his heart, he knew this was true. "Rich, man, I don't know what you're trying to do, but if you're trying to give me a pep talk, it ain't working. You suck at that."

Richie laughed at that. "I know. Listen, bro -- all I'm trying to do is to get you to think. I can count on one hand the number of women you've brought back to this place in the last two years. Not counting your housekeeper or our daughters, I think it's one. Valerie. I'm just saying you may be reading more into this than what's there. You may be trying to make her fix you. I don't know, man, I"m not in your head. I'm just trying to say be careful, I guess. Find out what she means to you before you – well, just before."

Valerie had stopped on the other side of the door when she heard the serious tones of their voices, not wanting to interrupt. She couldn’t hear much of what was said, but that last bit about being the only woman to be here in Jon’s house recently? That came through the door loud and clear. She heard that and it surprised her; in fact, it pleased her more than she cared to admit. She backed away from the door, intending to go back up stairs, when Richie came bursting through it. Busted.

“Hey there,” he said, and smiled at her. “I see you managed to get dressed without any help from us.” He pouted. “More’s the pity.”

Valerie chuckled, and put a hand on Richie’s arm. “I overheard that last bit of your conversation in there,” she said. “I’m not sure what Jon told you –”

Richie cut her off. “Darlin’, you don’t have to explain anything to me. Jon is a big boy. I’m just trying to be a friend to him, much as he has been to me over the years.” He covered Valerie’s small hand with his large one. “I gave him my advice, and it’s up to him whether he takes it or not. I’m not going to apologize for what you heard.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Valerie said. “I just want you to know, well, that it’s not my intention to hurt him, but I don’t want to do this, whatever it is, with a cloud hanging over us. I don’t want to have to watch every little thing I say or do.” She extricated her hand from under his and squared her shoulders. “I am – we are – in this with our eyes open. We spent most of yesterday talking, and I think we know each other pretty well, and I think I’m safe in saying if he thought I was in this for some nefarious purpose, I wouldn’t be here talking to you right now.”

“You are right about that, but there’s more to him than his judge of character. Hell,” he laughed. “I could tell two seconds after seeing you that you aren’t some groupie or weirdo.” Richie shook his head, “and I’m a lousy judge of character.”

“I know there’s more to him than that,” Valerie said. Her voice was getting more heated now. “I know you don’t think so, but I know how much these last two years have hurt him personally and how it’s affected you all professionally. You think I live under a rock? I know a little bit about the infighting, the creative blocks, the personal hell he’s been living in. Don’t forget, I am living – have been living – in that same place.” She took a step toward the kitchen, wondered what the hell Jon was doing in there.

Her voice softened as she watched Richie watching her. He was listening, which is more than she expected. She had no less passion in her voice when she told him, “I know that he loves you guys more than his own life, and it’s killing him that he hasn’t been able to let you guys help him because he’s always been your leader and your rock He thinks he can’t show weakness to you. That’s how he sees himself now, you know. He thinks he’s weak, and doesn’t want to be anything less than perfect. I know that it’s hurting his heart not to have the chemistry, the camaraderie with you as his best friend that has been such a part of who he is for so long. I see it in his eyes. His soul aches from this.”

She paced a little, and Richie just watched her, seeing what Jon meant by her being more than a pretty face. She was pretty insightful, and very blunt. Richie decided he liked her. Valerie turned to face Richie again. “Look, when I met him, he couldn’t, or didn’t, really smile. Oh, his mouth made the right movements, and his eyes crinkled just so, but there was no sparkle in them. No light. Now, look at him. His smile reaches his eyes.” She stalked up to Richie and got in his face; in much the same way that he was in Jon’s face a few minutes ago. “I helped him do that; me, a little nobody from upstate. That’s got to count for something.” She shook her head and backed up, her hands up placatingly. “Alright, I’m done. Just know that I think I do know something about him, and I genuinely care for him, and will not knowingly do anything to hurt him.”

Richie nodded. “I can see that you do care for him. Most women wouldn’t have bothered to get to know the man; they would have just hung on for the ride.”

“I’m not ‘most women’,” Valerie said very softly. “I haven’t taken anyone to my bed since my husband died. If I didn’t care about him, he wouldn’t have been there.”

Richie heard the emotion in her voice, and gave Valerie a brotherly hug before leaving. Valerie went into the kitchen muttering to herself and stopped dead when she saw Jon standing there with tears in his eyes. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?” Valerie rushed to his side and took his hands in hers.

“I heard what you were saying to Richie,” Jon said, his voice thick with emotion. “Did you mean what you said to him?”

“Of course,” Valerie said, “I may be a lot of things, but a liar isn’t one of them. Did I say something to upset you?”

“No,” Jon said, gathering Valerie into a tight hug. “Not at all. I just haven’t had someone ‘get’ me for so long, to hear you talk about me like that, well, it just touches me.” He swiped at his eyes. “You are something special, you know that? Not a little nobody from upstate. Not to me. And for the record, I care about you, too.”

Valerie sighed and settled happily into Jon’s arms.